Teach Your Kids About Money: 7-Year-Old Makes 1567% Investment Return

It was in the news that a 7-year-old kid made some absurd money.

… [he] is twice the investing genius of Warren Buffett at one-thirteenth the age.


There was an opinion piece providing social commentary:

This is the by-product of a society that uses board games to engrain die-hard capitalism into children at such a young age. This kid just slammed a hotel down on Boardwalk.

The New York times

Who is this kid and what did he invest in?

That 7-year old was me, so I’ll share all the juicy details.


Okay, okay. I was never in the news, and it wasn’t your typical investment. But it is true that I made a 1567% return when I was 7 years old. 

This is mostly just going to be a goofy story, but it does have a few key takeaways:

  • Something is worth whatever someone else is willing to pay for it
  • Teach your kids about money
  • Don’t tell your parents about your cash bank monies


What’s the story?

Well, when I was 7, it was the late-90s. Can you guess what I invested in? 

Perhaps, some quick buy-low/sell-high action on a snazzy Internet IPO that nobody remembers anymore? Or a brand new tech company that actually managed to stick around?



Yeah, the sports drink. There was a vending machine in my school’s cafeteria that sold Powerades and Fruitopia for 60 cents.

One day I bought three White Cherry Powerades because I wanted to take the other two home and freeze them. After lunch, I was still carrying around the two other Powerades at recess. This kid Jonathan, who was in my class at the time, stops me and asks if he can buy them. I had yet to respond when he whips out a $20 bill and asks “Is this enough?”. 

Jonathan, circa 1999, colorized

7-year-old me: …Sure.

Needless to say, I was pretty stoked that I had more than doubled my net worth (now up to a whopping $30). I told my dad when I got home, expecting him to be as stoked as I was. 

He was not. 

Instead, he was immediately suspicious and demanded to know how I came home with a crisp $20 bill. (It’s not like I had a job at the time.) I told him what happened and he realized that Jonathan, probably like a lot of 7 year olds, didn’t understand the value of money. He got in touch with Jonathan’s parents through our teacher and returned the $20. (I did NOT get my Powerades back.)

So… moral of the story:

  • Something is worth whatever someone else is willing to pay for it, even if it is way beyond that thing’s real value *cough* Dogecoin *cough*
  • Teach your kids about money (especially before you give them $20 and expect them to use it for their school lunches)
  • Don’t tell your parents about your cash bank monies

Thanks for listening to my stupid story 🙂

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